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Family Archives - Malachite Centre
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Fall Pregnant – The Natural Way

A recipe for fertility and pregnancy the natural way.

We are all designed to breed!

In my first interview with prospective parents, I always start with this statement to emphasise the importance of living the way we are intended to live. Abnormalities and physical issues aside, if people adapt healthy lifestyles, success in becoming pregnant is virtually guaranteed. Potential parents who have tried everything seem to take comfort from this declaration.

And it’s true.

I find in my natural health practice that it is absolutely essential for both partners to adopt a way of living that Dr. Leonard Mehlmauer, a world renowned naturopath, calls the “Big Seven”.

  1. A pure diet.
  2. Adequate rest.
  3. Right exercise.
  4. Natural hygiene.
  5. Right occupation.
  6. Life positive environments.
  7. Spiritual cultivation.

Diet

As always, a good natural eating plan with the right combinations is essential. In evolutionary terms, we are closer to the cave than the high tech, polluted environment we find ourselves in.

So think about the diet our forebears of the far distant past would have eaten; Nuts, berries, fruits, veggies, and the occasional protein. (Only after LOTS of exercise to chase that woolly mammoth down!) Grains and most carbohydrates were only eaten once we changed from hunter/gatherers to a more sedate pastoral lifestyle. No matter what, all food was seasonal and always organic with no preservatives and flavour enhancers.

I would like to mention, though, that in India and the far East green paw paws are used to abort unwanted babies, so to be safe avoid any suspicious paw paws.
The beverage of choice being water in copious quantities.

Adequate rest

Once again, use our distant ancestors as an example. We retired at sundown and rose at sunup. A minimum of eight hours of peaceful sleep in a well aerated and slightly cool environment is a basic requirement.

Right exercise

We don’t have to go to the extremes of the caveman as our mammoths now come in neat little polystyrene packages without the fur. We therefore need to expend less energy. 25 minutes of power walking five times a week is a minimum.

Natural hygiene

Do the things our mothers taught us! We don’t need to obsessively scrub everything with antiseptics, we do, however need to keep ourselves and our environments clean.

Right Occupation

On the face of it, this seems obvious.
I find, however, that most of my patients are working in their jobs “because they have to.”
Not necessarily their first choice.
This not only is the perfect breeding ground for unhappiness, stress and possibly depression, it also creates the situation that their heart is not in the task at hand and a less than perfect outcome is often the result.
A passionate and devoted employee is gold to employers and will always get the first job offer.

Life positive environment

Try to stay away from toxic relationships, takers and depressives. Always be positive and, like the proverbial Latin individual, let your emotions out. Don’t bottle things up. It is just as healthy to cry as to laugh. As long as the emotion is honest and appropriate, let it out!

Smoking (even secondary smoking) and drinking are best left alone.

Spiritual cultivation

We are all spiritual beings. No matter what your particular persuasion is, it is essential to try to live up to the ideals twenty four seven. It certainly is my experience that a spiritual person is less likely to fall ill and when they do, healing takes place more rapidly.

I know that this sounds so simple, but our modern lifestyles tend to make the simple complicated. I do, however, agree with the need for supplementation because the value of nutrition available to us has deteriorated. Thus folic acid, Vitamins B6, B.Comp, magnesium chromium, dolomite and zinc usually are a prerequisite. Depending on foods available, other vitamins and minerals may also be necessary. I would like to mention that I am a great fan of eggs, especially the yolk, as they are the perfect protein and contain the necessary ingredients for new life.

How we live governs our fertility as Mother Nature insists that our children have the best possible advantages so that we, as a species, improve from generation to generation.

During pregnancy there are a few pointers – In the first trimester, in addition to the previously mentioned supplements, iron is essential. Your body will be making huge numbers of red blood cells and iron is the key ingredient. You should also get checked out by a natural practitioner to make sure that there are no underlying conditions that are contraindicated to iron supplementation.
If you or your mother has lost a baby in the past, you need to take it as easy as you can. Deal with stress, do not over exert and ask for help. This is vital as if and when you don’t feel up to it, you have a support system in place.

In the last two weeks, Rosemary tea is a good idea as this will assist in the childbirth.

Once your bundle of joy has arrived it is really important that you maintain your pre pregnancy regime and breast feed for at least four months. If this is not possible, you might investigate obtaining healthy expressed milk from another mother.
It has been clinically proven that mother’s milk is not only rich in the nutrients that a new born needs, but vital immune functions are reinforced during this formative time. A study completed recently showed that the thymus gland (an essential part of the immune system) is seventy percent larger in babies fed with mother’s milk than formula fed babies. The lungs also develop much more efficiently with this wonder food. A final thought on mother’s milk, sudden infant death syndrome (S.I.D.S.) can frequently be laid at the door of non-breast fed babies.

You will be very excited and want to show your new arrival off. Babies do not fully develop in the womb and need a warm stable environment to settle into their new bodies. It is best to be a little patient and treasure you time together rather that carting baby around. There will be plenty of time to show off later!

My loved one has cancer – how can I help?

Have you (or someone close to you) just gotten news that a loved one has cancer?

I’ve been there.

The words that come to mind are devastating, overwhelm, fear and loss. Does any of this sound familiar?

If you are like most people, you associate cancer with suffering that leads to death. It’s no wonder that you might have a cocktail of hard-to-manage emotions when someone close to you gets the news that they have cancer.

This emotional cocktail can get in your way of truly being there for your loved one. You can find yourself drowning in your emotional cocktail.

Yet there are things that you can do to shift your mindset so you can be there for the person you love.

Imagine, instead of being distracted by your emotional reaction to cancer when you are with your ailing loved one, you are present with them, savoring every moment together and focused on helping them on their healing journey.

I share with you my 7 anchor coping tips of how you can deal with your loved one’s cancer diagnosis:

  1. After your initial shock and sadness, remember it’s not about you. It’s about how you can be there for your loved one. Don’t let your emotions stand in the way of your support. It is about them and being there for them now.
  2. Learn as much as you can about your loved one’s cancer. Every person is unique and every cancer is unique. However, don’t become the expert who knows best. Allow your loved one to make their own choices and support their decisions. They are scared and overwhelmed and are getting many suggestions and advice. In the end, it’s your loved one and their medical team’s decision.
  3. When possible, make time to accompany them to their treatments or appointments. It’s scary for them so be the strong one. You might be pleasantly surprised to experience how their courage and strength carry you.
  4. Know your loved one’s needs and wants and be caring. Bring them healthy homemade meals they can freeze. Find out what they can eat and drink and offer to make or buy some of it for the times they have no energy to get to a shop or prepare a meal.
  5. Contact them regularly without being too controlling or in the way. Let them know you are thinking of them. Know when their next treatment is and show your interest. Follow up after the treatment and check in how they are doing. Send short text messages they can read when they have time.
  6. If they have young children offer to help with the kids. Also, explain to the young ones what is wrong with their loved one in a gentle way. Kids have the right to know. Keeping information from them makes it even scarier.
  7. Keep faith and hope and show your love. Remember, love is powerful medicine.

We at Malachite Centre care about your loved one and about you. Reach out to us for help.

It’s your life and it’s your family. We will hold your hearts and hands and walk the road with you.

Relate Better With Your Teen With These Top 5 Tips

Communication is the key to bridging this relationship gap, but in the digital age, it has become even more tricky to talk to your teenage sons and daughters.

Apart from knowing their world, also know your teen. Know what is of value, importance and a priority to your teenager.

Teenage years are be overwhelming, daunting, and just downright filled with fear. This is true for the young adolescents and parents alike. Teens become withdrawn, silent, and even aggressive. And parents react by becoming defensive, scared, and overly protective.

According to Ilze Alberts, Johannesburg-based life strategist and psychologist, parents are often caught between a rock and a hard place: They don’t want to do too little or too much as they don’t want to scare away these young adults. But it is tough! They become like aliens in your home. They have moods swings and volatile emotions, and they become demanding, selfish, and overly focussed on their interests and priorities.

Communication is the key to bridging this relationship gap, but in the digital age, it has become even more tricky to talk to your teenage sons and daughters. Nowadays children prefer to ask their Google for advice instead of speaking to a human.” Having raised her son and daughter alone, Alberts too walked this treacherous path. I understand that this period is demanding, challenging and extremely stressful.

From personal and professional experience, I have gained valuable insights and learned tough lessons. And yes, in certain instances I failed. However, it is comforting to know that you are not alone in this boat.

Alberts shares these five top tips on how to have an effective relationship with your teen.

Remember yourself as a teenager and remind yourself of your pains and pleasures, challenges, and support structures, the uncertainties, peer pressure and how you handled it all.

1. Get to know their world

The world of today’s teens is daunting for most parents. Facebook, Twitter, BBM, WhatsApp, Internet, drugs, sex, alcohol, and many other experiences, with which many parents are not familiar, are their reality.

Make sure you get to know their world. Listen to their music, watch their movies, pay attention to their talk, and show an interest in their reality. Remember, this world is just as overwhelming to them. They might seem to only be interested in their social lives or sports events, but in their heart, they still need their mommy and daddy.

2. Guard against becoming the preacher

It is easy to become the preacher and warn them against the dangers of this world. However, they perceive you as old-fashioned and clueless, says Alberts, “The more you preach to them and set tight boundaries, the more they see you as the enemy. The result is that your relationship and communication become strained.”

I wanted to shout from the rooftops to be careful of the clubs, the malls, drugs, bullies, the Internet. All they heard was nagging and moaning. The more I preached, the further away they drifted. “One day the penny dropped: Stop being the preacher. From that day onwards, I changed from preaching to talking and informing with care.

3. Remember the fun and discoveries of your own teenage years

Remember yourself as a teenager and remind yourself of your pains and pleasures, challenges, and support structures, the uncertainties, peer pressure and how you handled it all. We lived our teenage years according to the current times and so are your teens. Many parents fear for the wellbeing of their kids because they know what they were up to as teenagers themselves.

Teenage years are an important period of your life; it is a time of learning to be more independent and self-reliant. We get more freedom and have to make a lot of difficult choices. We learn about relationships with the opposite sex, the tears and ecstasy of falling in and out of love, lots of school work, learning to deal with pressure and being halfway between a child and an adult. It is also a time of fun and new discoveries.

By opening yourself up to work through your fears and enjoy your teenage kids, you open up a new world of experiences for yourself.

4. Give them wings

Trust that you did a good enough job with your parenting. You have the biggest impact on your kids’ life from when they are born until they turn six years old. From then on, you are enforcing the basic principles and parenting style that you have adopted.

Alberts says, “Give your teen a long enough string to explore, but not too long that they hang themselves. Even though teens seem to be more focused on their friends and social life, you as the parent is still important.”

5. Be teen-focused

Apart from knowing their world, also know your teen. Know what is of value, importance and a priority to your teenager. Watch what they fill their space with, and on what they spend their time, what they like to talk about, what motivates them, what goals they set, and in which areas of their lives are they disciplined and organised. The answers to these questions will help you understand what is really important to your teenage child.

According to Alberts, the rule of thumb for a good relationship with your teen is acceptance without qualification. Give them what they want within boundaries and age-appropriate limitations.

“Expect the best from them but be realistic. And enjoy these years as much as possible. You will learn more about yourself and realise that your kids are not extensions of you, but their own unique individual selves. “By opening yourself up to work through your fears and enjoy your teenage kids, you open up a new world of experiences for yourself,” Alberts concludes.

Master plan your life: for millennials

Many young adults face this dilemma, after their final school year, after a gap year or after finishing studies – “what do I do now?” It causes tension and a lack of confidence in young adults and anxiety as well as expectations in their parents.

I am the mother of 2 millennials and I have witnessed their anxiety and uncertainty when it was time for them to enter the workplace.

Even though both have master’s degrees (one in Psychology and the other in Botany), they didn’t know how to unlock opportunities for themselves after finishing their degrees.

It was only after I mentored them in my program Master Planning For Life that the light went on and they created their own inspiring opportunities.

What do I do now?

Many young adults face this dilemma, after their final school year, after a gap year or after finishing studies – “what do I do now?” It causes tension and a lack of confidence in young adults and anxiety as well as expectations in their parents.

Let me help your young adult find their way to their inspired destiny. I offer Master Planning Your Life: for Millenials

This is a 10-hour mentoring program(2-hour sessions) and can be done face to face in Johannesburg or Cape Town or via the digital world meaning Skype, Zoom, WhatsApp or FaceTime. The investment for the 10 hours is R22 000.00. (Because I am a registered psychologist, a portion can be claimed from medical aid)

How to book:

Phone my assistant Adelle at 0607434143 or email her at info@bellavida.co.za

Testimonial from a 26-year old man:

“I am so grateful you came into my life. Without you I would have continued to live my life to please others. Now I know what I want and I know what action steps to take to create my life the way I wish it to be. I received 2 work opportunities after I completed my 10-hours mentorship with you. And I have chosen the opportunity the highest aligned with my values. Thank you very much.”


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