Have you (or someone close to you) just gotten news that a loved one has cancer?
I’ve been there.
The words that come to mind are devastating, overwhelm, fear and loss. Does any of this sound familiar?
If you are like most people, you associate cancer with suffering that leads to death. It’s no wonder that you might have a cocktail of hard-to-manage emotions when someone close to you gets the news that they have cancer.
This emotional cocktail can get in your way of truly being there for your loved one. You can find yourself drowning in your emotional cocktail.
Yet there are things that you can do to shift your mindset so you can be there for the person you love.
Imagine, instead of being distracted by your emotional reaction to cancer when you are with your ailing loved one, you are present with them, savoring every moment together and focused on helping them on their healing journey.
I share with you my 7 anchor coping tips of how you can deal with your loved one’s cancer diagnosis:
- After your initial shock and sadness, remember it’s not about you. It’s about how you can be there for your loved one. Don’t let your emotions stand in the way of your support. It is about them and being there for them now.
- Learn as much as you can about your loved one’s cancer. Every person is unique and every cancer is unique. However, don’t become the expert who knows best. Allow your loved one to make their own choices and support their decisions. They are scared and overwhelmed and are getting many suggestions and advice. In the end, it’s your loved one and their medical team’s decision.
- When possible, make time to accompany them to their treatments or appointments. It’s scary for them so be the strong one. You might be pleasantly surprised to experience how their courage and strength carry you.
- Know your loved one’s needs and wants and be caring. Bring them healthy homemade meals they can freeze. Find out what they can eat and drink and offer to make or buy some of it for the times they have no energy to get to a shop or prepare a meal.
- Contact them regularly without being too controlling or in the way. Let them know you are thinking of them. Know when their next treatment is and show your interest. Follow up after the treatment and check in how they are doing. Send short text messages they can read when they have time.
- If they have young children offer to help with the kids. Also, explain to the young ones what is wrong with their loved one in a gentle way. Kids have the right to know. Keeping information from them makes it even scarier.
- Keep faith and hope and show your love. Remember, love is powerful medicine.
We at Malachite Centre care about your loved one and about you. Reach out to us for help.
It’s your life and it’s your family. We will hold your hearts and hands and walk the road with you.