Ilze Alberts, Author at Malachite Centre

My loved one has cancer – how can I help?

Posted on 22nd May 20182nd July 2018 by Ilze Alberts

Have you (or someone close to you) just gotten news that a loved one has cancer?

I’ve been there.

The words that come to mind are devastating, overwhelm, fear and loss. Does any of this sound familiar?

If you are like most people, you associate cancer with suffering that leads to death. It’s no wonder that you might have a cocktail of hard-to-manage emotions when someone close to you gets the news that they have cancer.

This emotional cocktail can get in your way of truly being there for your loved one. You can find yourself drowning in your emotional cocktail.

Yet there are things that you can do to shift your mindset so you can be there for the person you love.

Imagine, instead of being distracted by your emotional reaction to cancer when you are with your ailing loved one, you are present with them, savoring every moment together and focused on helping them on their healing journey.

I share with you my 7 anchor coping tips of how you can deal with your loved one’s cancer diagnosis:

After your initial shock and sadness, remember it’s not about you. It’s about how you can be there for your loved one. Don’t let your emotions stand in the way of your support. It is about them and being there for them now.
Learn as much as you can about your loved one’s cancer. Every person is unique and every cancer is unique. However, don’t become the expert who knows best. Allow your loved one to make their own choices and support their decisions. They are scared and overwhelmed and are getting many suggestions and advice. In the end, it’s your loved one and their medical team’s decision.
When possible, make time to accompany them to their treatments or appointments. It’s scary for them so be the strong one. You might be pleasantly surprised to experience how their courage and strength carry you.
Know your loved one’s needs and wants and be caring. Bring them healthy homemade meals they can freeze. Find out what they can eat and drink and offer to make or buy some of it for the times they have no energy to get to a shop or prepare a meal.
Contact them regularly without being too controlling or in the way. Let them know you are thinking of them. Know when their next treatment is and show your interest. Follow up after the treatment and check in how they are doing. Send short text messages they can read when they have time.
If they have young children offer to help with the kids. Also, explain to the young ones what is wrong with their loved one in a gentle way. Kids have the right to know. Keeping information from them makes it even scarier.
Keep faith and hope and show your love. Remember, love is powerful medicine.

We at Malachite Centre care about your loved one and about you. Reach out to us for help.

It’s your life and it’s your family. We will hold your hearts and hands and walk the road with you.

How to protect your psyche against the water crisis in the Western Cape

Posted on 15th March 20182nd July 2018 by Ilze Alberts

Here are six steps to protect your psyche against the fear-based and anxiety-riddled message of Day Zero.

The Western Cape Province has a typical Mediterranean climate with warm, dry summers and mild, moist winters. However, a severe drought is threatening the livelihood of its capital city and popular tourist destination Cape Town.

The water crisis is a wake-up call for many locals, as well as people for nationally and internationally. It is evident that we have taken regular winter rainfall and thus water for granted. We have become complacent about the use and supply of it. We have been consuming this increasingly scarce resource with no long-term plan. We have believed that water would last forever.

We are slowly but surely becoming aware that this valuable natural resource must be looked after it with great awareness.

Walking through the arrival hall at Cape Town International Airport, you get bombarded with big billboards telling you about the water crisis. Driving on the roads, you are constantly reminded to save water; that Day Zero, when the taps run dry, is on its way.

This continuous flow of information impacts the psyche of residents and visitors.

However, for every downside there is an upside. A crisis breaks down polarity and barriers in a community. The net effect of a shared challenge is that it unites people and creative solutions are born. Entrepreneurship, innovation, and new ways of doing things is the consequence of a city in crisis. Teamwork becomes the order of the day.

The effect this challenge is having on me is that I too have become more conscious of how I use water. I have become more innovative in bringing my bit.

Protect your psyche in six simple steps.

Here are six steps to protect your psyche against the fear-based and anxiety-riddled message of Day Zero:

Do your part in saving water as every drop counts. Be a participant and add value to your community. Be water-wise.
Focus not only on the negative but also on the other richness in the resources of your city or town. Notice, for instance, how the beautiful trees keep on surviving irrespective of the drought.
Share with others how you feel that you can make a difference and guard against joining the mob mentality of negativity.
Be grateful every day for abundance in all the other forms present in your life.
Share out of your abundance – for instance, donate water bottles for less privileged communities.
Look at all the good things coming out of the crisis: See the unity the common enemy called “drought” brought to your community.

Do you wish to move on and be free from the grips of fear and anxiety? The professional team at Malachite Centre is at your service. Contact us on info@malachitecentre.com or 021 205 0590.

Life in Johannesburg – a big metropolitan city bursting with energy

Posted on 15th March 20182nd July 2018 by Ilze Alberts

Whether you are a successful entrepreneur, corporate player, professional service provider or full-time mother, the fast pace of Johannesburg brings far too many opportunities with too few signposts to show us the way.

Life in Johannesburg – a big metropolitan city bursting with energy

I have been living and working in Johannesburg for 25 years. I have always loved the high energy, diversity, movement, colours, and opportunities in this big, bursting metropolitan city.

Here time has become a priceless commodity and challenges, stress, anxiety, and uncertainty are the order of the day. When many successful people and great opportunities surround you, you may also feel personal success or failure more acutely.

Whether you are a successful entrepreneur, corporate player, professional service provider or full-time mother, the fast pace of Johannesburg brings far too many opportunities with too few signposts to show us the way.

I am extremely aware of the challenges people face daily that lead to burnout, anxiety, stress, lack of self-confidence, sleep problems, health issues, uncertainty, and a lack of direction. These are the downsides of living in a big bustling city.

Doing it alone, is NOT the solution

The solution does NOT lie in doing it all by yourself and feeling overwhelmed and out of control. The solution is to find help and take back control of your life.

Burnout is the result of an uninspired life

Burnout is a consequence of not living an inspired and purposeful life. When you fill your days with activities and thoughts that energise you and are of highest importance and priority to you, burnout disappears and revitalised energy and focus follow.

You deserve to fill your days with what you love to do and you deserve to serve according to what intrinsically motivates you.

“What are you willing to do to find this sweet spot?”

Take that first step today and make an appointment with me. Call +27 82 827 9669 /info@bellavida.co.za

About Ilze

Hello, I am Ilze Alberts,

A life strategist and international educator on strategies to a beautiful life.

My work is to show you how to build your personal well-being, financial position, and family relationships. I am dedicated to helping you become the person you most want to be.

I have more than 30 years of experience as a qualified Psychologist, and I am also a Master Demartini Facilitator ™

I love life, and I am looking forward assisting you in creating a beautiful life.

FOUNDER OF BELLA VIDA & Master Demartini Method Facilitator®

The Demartini Method is a powerful tool used in over 50 countries. It’s a series of systematic pre-determined questions and physical actions that lead individuals to gratitude and unconditional love.

Dr Demartini believes that if people can be instantly scared or traumatised, they can also be instantly healed from these traumatic experiences. What once took weeks, months or even years can now be accomplished in a matter of hours.

The Demartini Method® is one of the most powerful, effective and efficient methodologies in personal transformation available today. It is a foolproof and effective means of transforming any form of stress or conflict into grateful states of love and vitality.

Ilze Alberts, founder of Bella Vida Centre & psychologist for 30 years, has been interviewed for Dr. John Demartini’s book, ‘The Value Factor’.

Use the magic of fears

Posted on 6th February 20182nd July 2018 by Ilze Alberts

I recently had to face a huge fear: Making a decision that would change my life forever. My vision for my life has expanded and my values have shifted. I am also at a certain stage in my life and I have realised that it is time for a change.

Use the magic of fear

I walk Dexter in the morning.

Dexter is five years old. When my daughter picked him up next to a busy highway, he was a tiny, abandoned four-month old puppy. He has grown into a medium-sized doggie and is a cherished member of our family.

Dexter gets nervous on our morning walks, especially of small dogs. He freezes with fear when they start yapping at him. The fierce, ferocious ones also bring him to a complete standstill.

Unaware of his distress, I walk on and even get a bit irritated by this seemingly irrational fear. He only gets moving again when he realises that I have left him behind. Out of the corner of my eye, I see him gather his courage and he rushes past the small dangers towards me. It is much more frightening to be left behind than to conquer his fear of other dogs.

What Dexter has taught me
Our morning walks have taught me that fear mobilises you when you have something bigger to lose. When Dexter must choose between being chased by a white woolly monster and losing me, he conquers his one fear to make sure the other bigger fear doesn’t happen.

I recently had to face a huge fear: Making a decision that would change my life forever. My vision for my life has expanded and my values have shifted. I am also at a certain stage in my life and I have realised that it is time for a change, but I have been scared witless. Fear is freezing me.

However, I have learned from Dexter that if I don’t break free from this one fear, a bigger fear will realise. And so, I have decided that it is time to let go and move on. It is time for change. In the decision-making process, I have faced more fears than what I thought possible, but I have pushed through and taken a massive step forward.

What fear is holding you back from making the change in your life you so wish to have? What will you lose if you stay stuck in this fear?
Transform you fears and be free! Book a consultation with Ilze Alberts, Human Behaviour Expert and Psychologist-Coach, today.

Relate Better With Your Teen With These Top 5 Tips

Posted on 18th January 20182nd July 2018 by Ilze Alberts

Communication is the key to bridging this relationship gap, but in the digital age, it has become even more tricky to talk to your teenage sons and daughters.

Apart from knowing their world, also know your teen. Know what is of value, importance and a priority to your teenager.

Teenage years are be overwhelming, daunting, and just downright filled with fear. This is true for the young adolescents and parents alike. Teens become withdrawn, silent, and even aggressive. And parents react by becoming defensive, scared, and overly protective.

According to Ilze Alberts, Johannesburg-based life strategist and psychologist, parents are often caught between a rock and a hard place: They don’t want to do too little or too much as they don’t want to scare away these young adults. But it is tough! They become like aliens in your home. They have moods swings and volatile emotions, and they become demanding, selfish, and overly focussed on their interests and priorities.

Communication is the key to bridging this relationship gap, but in the digital age, it has become even more tricky to talk to your teenage sons and daughters. Nowadays children prefer to ask their Google for advice instead of speaking to a human.” Having raised her son and daughter alone, Alberts too walked this treacherous path. I understand that this period is demanding, challenging and extremely stressful.

From personal and professional experience, I have gained valuable insights and learned tough lessons. And yes, in certain instances I failed. However, it is comforting to know that you are not alone in this boat.

Alberts shares these five top tips on how to have an effective relationship with your teen.

Remember yourself as a teenager and remind yourself of your pains and pleasures, challenges, and support structures, the uncertainties, peer pressure and how you handled it all.

1. Get to know their world

The world of today’s teens is daunting for most parents. Facebook, Twitter, BBM, WhatsApp, Internet, drugs, sex, alcohol, and many other experiences, with which many parents are not familiar, are their reality.

Make sure you get to know their world. Listen to their music, watch their movies, pay attention to their talk, and show an interest in their reality. Remember, this world is just as overwhelming to them. They might seem to only be interested in their social lives or sports events, but in their heart, they still need their mommy and daddy.

2. Guard against becoming the preacher

It is easy to become the preacher and warn them against the dangers of this world. However, they perceive you as old-fashioned and clueless, says Alberts, “The more you preach to them and set tight boundaries, the more they see you as the enemy. The result is that your relationship and communication become strained.”

I wanted to shout from the rooftops to be careful of the clubs, the malls, drugs, bullies, the Internet. All they heard was nagging and moaning. The more I preached, the further away they drifted. “One day the penny dropped: Stop being the preacher. From that day onwards, I changed from preaching to talking and informing with care.

3. Remember the fun and discoveries of your own teenage years

Remember yourself as a teenager and remind yourself of your pains and pleasures, challenges, and support structures, the uncertainties, peer pressure and how you handled it all. We lived our teenage years according to the current times and so are your teens. Many parents fear for the wellbeing of their kids because they know what they were up to as teenagers themselves.

Teenage years are an important period of your life; it is a time of learning to be more independent and self-reliant. We get more freedom and have to make a lot of difficult choices. We learn about relationships with the opposite sex, the tears and ecstasy of falling in and out of love, lots of school work, learning to deal with pressure and being halfway between a child and an adult. It is also a time of fun and new discoveries.

By opening yourself up to work through your fears and enjoy your teenage kids, you open up a new world of experiences for yourself.

4. Give them wings

Trust that you did a good enough job with your parenting. You have the biggest impact on your kids’ life from when they are born until they turn six years old. From then on, you are enforcing the basic principles and parenting style that you have adopted.

Alberts says, “Give your teen a long enough string to explore, but not too long that they hang themselves. Even though teens seem to be more focused on their friends and social life, you as the parent is still important.”

5. Be teen-focused

Apart from knowing their world, also know your teen. Know what is of value, importance and a priority to your teenager. Watch what they fill their space with, and on what they spend their time, what they like to talk about, what motivates them, what goals they set, and in which areas of their lives are they disciplined and organised. The answers to these questions will help you understand what is really important to your teenage child.

According to Alberts, the rule of thumb for a good relationship with your teen is acceptance without qualification. Give them what they want within boundaries and age-appropriate limitations.

“Expect the best from them but be realistic. And enjoy these years as much as possible. You will learn more about yourself and realise that your kids are not extensions of you, but their own unique individual selves. “By opening yourself up to work through your fears and enjoy your teenage kids, you open up a new world of experiences for yourself,” Alberts concludes.

Master plan your life: for millennials

Posted on 10th January 20182nd July 2018 by Ilze Alberts

Many young adults face this dilemma, after their final school year, after a gap year or after finishing studies – “what do I do now?” It causes tension and a lack of confidence in young adults and anxiety as well as expectations in their parents.

I am the mother of 2 millennials and I have witnessed their anxiety and uncertainty when it was time for them to enter the workplace.

Even though both have master’s degrees (one in Psychology and the other in Botany), they didn’t know how to unlock opportunities for themselves after finishing their degrees.

It was only after I mentored them in my program Master Planning For Life that the light went on and they created their own inspiring opportunities.

What do I do now?

Many young adults face this dilemma, after their final school year, after a gap year or after finishing studies – “what do I do now?” It causes tension and a lack of confidence in young adults and anxiety as well as expectations in their parents.

Let me help your young adult find their way to their inspired destiny. I offer Master Planning Your Life: for Millenials

This is a 10-hour mentoring program(2-hour sessions) and can be done face to face in Johannesburg or Cape Town or via the digital world meaning Skype, Zoom, WhatsApp or FaceTime. The investment for the 10 hours is R22 000.00. (Because I am a registered psychologist, a portion can be claimed from medical aid)

How to book:

Phone my assistant Adelle at 0607434143 or email her at info@bellavida.co.za

Testimonial from a 26-year old man:

“I am so grateful you came into my life. Without you I would have continued to live my life to please others. Now I know what I want and I know what action steps to take to create my life the way I wish it to be. I received 2 work opportunities after I completed my 10-hours mentorship with you. And I have chosen the opportunity the highest aligned with my values. Thank you very much.”

Sing like no one's listening

Author: Ilze Alberts

My loved one has cancer – how can I help?

Have you (or someone close to you) just gotten news that a loved one has cancer?

I share with you my 7 anchor coping tips of how you can deal with your loved one’s cancer diagnosis:

How to protect your psyche against the water crisis in the Western Cape

Here are six steps to protect your psyche against the fear-based and anxiety-riddled message of Day Zero.

Protect your psyche in six simple steps.

Here are six steps to protect your psyche against the fear-based and anxiety-riddled message of Day Zero:

Do you wish to move on and be free from the grips of fear and anxiety? The professional team at Malachite Centre is at your service. Contact us on info@malachitecentre.com or 021 205 0590.

Life in Johannesburg – a big metropolitan city bursting with energy

Whether you are a successful entrepreneur, corporate player, professional service provider or full-time mother, the fast pace of Johannesburg brings far too many opportunities with too few signposts to show us the way.

About Ilze

FOUNDER OF BELLA VIDA & Master Demartini Method Facilitator®

Use the magic of fears

I recently had to face a huge fear: Making a decision that would change my life forever. My vision for my life has expanded and my values have shifted. I am also at a certain stage in my life and I have realised that it is time for a change.

Use the magic of fear

Relate Better With Your Teen With These Top 5 Tips

Communication is the key to bridging this relationship gap, but in the digital age, it has become even more tricky to talk to your teenage sons and daughters.

1. Get to know their world

2. Guard against becoming the preacher

3. Remember the fun and discoveries of your own teenage years

4. Give them wings

5. Be teen-focused

Master plan your life: for millennials

Many young adults face this dilemma, after their final school year, after a gap year or after finishing studies – “what do I do now?” It causes tension and a lack of confidence in young adults and anxiety as well as expectations in their parents.

What do I do now?

How to book:

Testimonial from a 26-year old man:

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